In David Richo's book entitled "The Five Things We Cannot Change..." he outlines what he calls five unavoidable givens.
- Everything changes and ends.
- Things do not always go according to plan.
- Life is not always fair.
- Pain is part of life.
- People are not loving and loyal all the time.
Although it is worth reflecting upon each of these givens and to note how each impacts on both our personal and business lives, it is the second "given" that we may find ourselves struggling with at certain stages.
Many times we have an idea or goal in mind, something that seems important to us in achieving. We have become invested in a particular outcome, whether it is of a personal or business nature. We become entrenched in focusing that this is the only endpoint we will accept.
There are times when things happen outside of our control, that throw a wrench into our plans. As well thought out and developed as our plans might be, these external circumstances may have shifted the playing field. They may have thrown up barriers, making our plan obsolete or at least delayed it indefinitely.
What happens when we suddenly realize that our planned expectations will not be realized? How do we handle the disappointment? How do we make the best of it?
It is at times like these that our reactions and actions are crucial to overcoming the roadblocks. Blaming and complaining only exacerbate our steps, as negativity gets in the way of moving ahead. By focusing on the negatives, we are impeding steps forward.
Once we realize the plan has been thwarted in some way, we need to accept the change of plan and shift to constructively moving forward. Without dwelling on the reasons that our plans will not be realized, we do need to reflect and ask ourselves questions that will lead us to positive solutions.
What was important to us about this particular plan? What were we trying to accomplish? What did we learn from the development of the plan that can be used going forward? Had we considered other plans before arriving at our desired strategy?
In asking ourselves these and other questions, we may find ourselves pursuing new ideas and dreams and in a better place than originally expected.
"In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein
Paul Abra, Certified Executive Coach, Motivated Coaching and Development